August 2006 Max IS Deaf

Max is deaf. He's what? Deaf. I don't know what you mean.

We found out that Max, 18 mos., is deaf. How did this happen? He passed his newborn screening, I've got the little paper that says so. How did this happen? We don't know, the doctors don't know, no one knows. We could get genetic testing done, but why? Why put him through that and we're not having anymore kids, FOR SURE, so I guess if it is a big issue with my kids when they get older and start thinking about having kids they can get tested then. I won't do that to them or us right now. It is what it is and there's no changing it even if we have the answers.

We leave Riley's Children's Hospital shocked and befuddled. We were told that he had severe-to-profound loss in his right ear and moderate-to-severe loss in his left ear. I don't know what that means, I will find out (later) but for now I don't know what that means at all. After the audiologist got done with us a doctor came in. He starts Blah, Blah, Blahing says that "20 years ago he would have put his hand on my shoulder and told me he was sorry". What? He said that he wasn't sure if hearing aids were going to work or if the cochlear implant would even work. He does assure me it's not my fault. What? They send us off telling me to let them know which audiologist they are to send the ear molds that they have made to. They don't tell us where to go from here, what to do, nothing. We're lost in deafness. We don't even know what it means. On the way home I make Trent stop so I can pick up a baby book on signs. The journey has begun. Can you hear me?