I told myself that I was not going to blog about this. BUT, after talking (ok whining) to a few friends (acquaintences) I have decided that I actually LIKE inflicting pain upon myself. In fact, I enjoy inflicting pain only on myself. So, in effort to continue the trend of making myself miserable, I am going to announce how mortified I am to be announcing a huge blunder I have made. I am however, looking at it like a public awareness announcement. Not only how NOT to be a "bad mommy", but how NOT to jump to conclusions that someone is specifically a "bad mommy."
O.k., here goes. All seemed well until this weekend when I noticed a little boy. There wasn't anything specific about this little boy, other than he was drinking out of a pop bottle. Gee, you all see that a million times a day, so why has that caused such an uproar in my life?
Well, you see, Max still drinks from this:
Well, it's like that, but not quite like that. AND not only that (noooooo sireeee cause that ain't enough) but he still has this as well:
See, when I saw that little boy drink from the pop bottle I realized that Max would never do that. THEN I realized that Max doesn't drink out of a cup. THENNNN I realized that Max is 3 mos. from turning 4! Holy Crap!!!! How did this happen? My daughter drank out of a cup at 6 mos. I know that Max has drank out of cup, I just can't remember if he's done so since we found out he was deaf. I THINK that that is one of the problems. Max was diagnosed at 17 mos., and I have spent all that time since then just trying to get him implanted, trying to get him to speak, driving millions of miles for school and appointments, dealing with Em's epilepsy, the bankruptcy and I JUST LOST TRACK OF TIME!!! Now he is my baby, and absolutely the last child I'll be having, but still drinking out of a sippy cup AND a paci when he's almost 4! Oye! So I'm feeling guilt. I'm feeling like crap. Honestly, I really, truly, just did not realize it. I've been blind, but now I can see, and I really need to remedy this. You can bet I'll be pushing the cup and letting the dog get the paci (she loves them too).
So I guess if you've made it through all of my rambling, if you see a child with a pacifier and/or a sippy cup, please don't berate the parent or the child. Please don't think in your mind, "Ugh, look at that child. He/She is WAY too old for that. That mother should be ashamed of herself." You DON'T know what they've been through, where they've been. It might be that the mother is so overwhelmed with "other" things that she doesn't even realize that the one calling her mommy is a "child" and no longer "her baby". She is so overwhelmed with getting other needs met that time and ages has skipped her mind and when it punches her in the gut, she probably is mortified, just as I am.
Max, my sweetie, I am so sorry that I have let you down this way. I promise I will try to remember that you are going to grow up and not be my sweet little baby forever and sometimes I'm going to have to push you out of the nest so you can fly, even though I really don't want to. Can you HEAR me?
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3 comments:
awww, well you've let it out, now. I will say this, my neice(no issues) is 3.5, she still has a passy when she's at home! It's something she wants, and by golly my sister is gonna give it to her. Oh, don't be ashamed of yourself, I even told Brook's therapist this "she's my last child, I will spoil her, she will drink from sippy cups as long as I want her to, and I'll take away the passy when I get ready too!!" she just laughed at me knowing I'd get ready one day, and I did...the end.
Relax-- he won't start school with the pacifier and the sippy cup. I took my daughter's pacifier away the day after she turned four. Years later (she's 23 now) she told me she was lonely for it the first couple nights. I felt really bad after that. My younger one didn't stop sucking his thumb until he was eight.
Well, my daughter has recently turned 8, we're prying her thumb from her mouth every chance we get and she drank from sippy cups until she was at least 5 (not all the time, but when she took it out of the kitchen - spillproof)! EEEEKS! Oh well - she's a hilarious child with a lot of spunk! It's okay mom, sounds like you really had SO much on your plate, these are the little things - it happens when it happens!! : )
PS - Just found your blog and looking forward to checking it out! My son, Aiden (6 mths) has a profound loss and YES, he sucks on a paci too! After reading this, I want to go buy him some sippy cups - am I behind??!! Oh, what we do to ourselves!
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