It's all about..........the girl

Emily is on the right in the brown dress, next to the winner pffffttt.

Today it's all about my Diva, my beautiful 7.5 year old daughter. The one who insisted in participating in our annual Orange County Pumpking Festival Little Miss Pageant. Again. Ugggggghhhhhhhh. I hate pageants. I did not participate in pageants when I was younger. I was asked, but never did it. I hate pageants and everything that they stand for. I hate that fact that girls are paraded in front of people who know nothing about them or their background (except for silly questions like what's your favorite food, sports, hobbies, strategy to pick your nose? seriously) and judge them on a 3 minute interview and how they look in a dress. It's worse then a cow auction at the local county fair in my opinion cause at least you don't actually have to spend any money on the cow, just wash it up and get the crap off of it. Pageants, they are a rip. AND I hate this particulor pageant. They lure these little girls in and squeeze the parents out of their paychecks. First you have to find a sponsor to pay the $25.00 entrance fee. Why? If you want the girls why do they have to pay? If no one paid then there wouldn't be any pageants (which is what I really want). It seems like if you want to have a pageant you should pay the girls to come on in so you can parade them around on stage. Next, the clothing. O.k. so they say no pageant dresses, wear a dress you would wear to church. Yeah, I fell for that last year. My daughter wore a dress that she could have worn to church. Everyone else wore a pageant dress. Maybe they wear those pageant dresses to their church, but at our church they're lucky if we're not in jeans, shorts or the way it is some Sundays --- PAJAMAS! Shouldn't they have gotten points off for not following the rules? Apparently not, since last year's winner had on a PAGEANT DRESS. Next they hit you for the "Interview Outfit". The outfit is to be a nice shirt and pants that you would wear to church. Again, what are people wearing to church and what churches are they wearing them to? I fell for that too last year. Every little girl was decked out like she was in a fashion magazine spread-out for Limited Too or Justice for Girls. The week before the pageant, we have rehearsal. This is where they teach the girls, when and where they are to walk out on stage. This is a joke because.... No. 1) It's a whole 7 days before the pageant. No. 2)These girls are 6yrs. through 8 yrs. No. 3)THEY WILL NOT REMEMBER. They also give the girls envelopes of tickets to sell, 10 tickets for $5.00, which the parents will end up shelling out the $50.00 for because they won't be able to get friends and family members to ACTUALLY commit to going to the pageant and will have them on hand just in case. They will also not be able to get to those family members during the week because they are so busy with their own lives that the pageant takes a backseat. The day of the pageant the girls are instructed to be at the auditorium for interviews at 1:00 pm. This will of course be on a first come first serve basis. You will go early and realize that everyone else is there as well and then they decide to do it by number of the contestant. Your child's number is 15 (out of 17 girls), so you hunker down for the long haul. I might add that they've got the auditorium so freaking cold in that place that you need to wear a coat, pants, legwarmers, hat and gloves despite it being 80 something outside and now the 2 hours that you've spent on hair "putting lovely ringlets in" has fallen and looks like nothing but a mess. They then will do the interview which lasts a total of 5 minutes. Are you freaking kidding me? You can honestly tell who is best equipped to be "the winner" after 5 minutes? By the time the interview is done it is 3:00 pm and you haul butt back home to try and find something to eat while changing into "pageant dress" without getting anything on the pageant dress. Last year I made the mistake of trying to curl the hair into "lovely ringlets" again. This year, I pulled out the flat-iron. God gave you straight hair that won't hold a curl (to save your pageant life) you're going with what he gave you which is straight hair. Besides, everyone else will have curls so you'll be different, stand out with your beautiful straight hair. You have enough time to slam down a sandwich and you have to go back, FOR PICTURES WHICH YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR!!!! They want you there at 4:00 pm for pictures. Why didn't they do that while we were waiting for the interview all afternoon. Seems like it would make sense to me. Get picture right before you walk into the interview, not after, just in case you go in shock from one of the questions they throw at you. So we're there at 4 pm. the first year, we had to wait in a line for 45 minutes for pictures didn't get out of that line until 4:55 pm and had to be there at 5:15 pm so we just stayed. This year, got there at 4:30 pm, done with picture by 4:45 pm but STILL had to just stay there. Why is this? Why can't we get it right. So o.k., we've been there pretty much all day, had nothing to eat and we wait. At 5:30 pm they finally come to get her until the pageant starts at 6:00 pm. By then I am hungry, sick of being there and frozen. I go wait in line to get into the auditorium (cause they have since locked it up) for THE PAGEANT. Half the town shows up and is waiting in line for the pageant. Hubby and family have NOT shown up for the pageant. They are ready to unlock the doors and let the stampede in and wouldn't you know it, the parent's of the girls in the pageant have to fight with non-pageants to get a seat. See, now that really bites me. You would think that having a child in the pageant you would get front row seating or in the very least 2nd or 3rd row seating, but noooooo, you have to fight the throng and then sit in the cold auditorium not being able to go to the bathroom until someone in your family finally shows up to save your seats from being stolen from under you. The pageant starts and the parade begins. The little girls come out, most forget when they are supposed to move, where they are to stand, when they are to leave. You go through the bigger girls, the big girls and the biggest girls. They claim to have a 15 minute intermission while they count the votes, you look at your watch, it is 7:30 pm, it has been way longer than 15 minutes. You wonder if you will ever get out of there, you wonder what you will feed your family. They finally bring everyone back in to announce the winners. You've got your camera ready.....you know that this is it.........they announce Miss Photogenic..........that's o.k. you don't really care about that category anyway.....they announce 2nd runner up...........wow you're really going to pull this off and win.........they announce 1st runner up..........whooo hoooo goin for the gold.............they annnounce.....................................the name of someone else's child. Oh crap. The letdown. The heartbreak. The "I can't freakin believe this". The "What the heck?" You see your daughter continue to smile and clap. When it's all over everyone moves to go home.... you have to wait so they can take group pictures of the winners with the girls. WHAT? I don't want to sit here and wait for pictures when my daughter didn't win. Just take your freakin picture of your freaking winner and let us go home, let me soothe the pain she must be feeling, the hurt, the disappointment. I finally get my child. As we're walking out someone says to her, "You look gorgeous". We get outside. I ask her if she is disappointed, a little but wait til I see the cool stuff she got for participating. Hmmmm, she does not see upset at all. Again before bed, I remind her that she is still God's princess and that is all that matters and she is MINE. She tells me that she's going to be in it next year (friggin why? Why? WHY?), she's going to keep being in it until she wins. She thinks that next year she'll wear a green or black dress. I kiss her good-night. At least if I've taught her nothing else, she's not going to quit, she's in it to win it. Man I love her.
Can you HEAR me?